Conduct a conflict resolution session: DESC discussion
You have mapped the conflict, which helps you:
Understand the disagreement(s) in depth.
Remain rational and sufficiently objective.
Take into account feelings and different value systems.
See the outline of a resolution emerge from this analysis.
The final step is to have a resolution session, which allows you to work with all of the parties to find acceptable solutions.
You should ideally initiate a formal resolution session with all parties at Stage 2 of the crisis:
One-on-one.
In a closed and neutral space.
Following a specific format. Before the participants agree, let them know that the session is a way of understanding the situation from each person's point of view, and to find an acceptable solution.
Possible scenarios
A conflict between two colleagues on the same team: If both agree, their manager conducts two DESC sessions with each person. She then creates and presents a solution during the third session (together or separate).
Also, one of the parties can suggest a DESC discussion: "So that everyone can express themselves and offer solutions. How do you see this happening?”
A conflict between two colleagues on different teams, or two managers of different departments: One of the individuals can suggest a DESC session. If higher-ups intervene, both must first agree on the approach. Then, everyone performs a DESC interview with their employee. The two higher-ups offer their employees a possible solution. They must be trained in conflict management techniques; otherwise, the approach may make matters worse or even create a second issue between the two higher-ups!
A conflict between a manager and an employee: Everyone can request a formal interview. If the employee requests the interview, he or she can still be assertive and ask for a DESC discussion without stating the rules. It's important to stress active listening if the order of the steps is modified.
Start the DESC discussion
D for describe the facts
Each party explains what happened at the beginning of the conflict: "I realized ...," "I saw that ...," "I found that ..." Stating these facts is very important because it creates a framework for the solution..
When you are the one speaking:
You control your emotions.
Your posture is neutral and as open as possible.
Your voice is kept low and steady.
You are careful about your reactions.
You don't exaggerate or trivialize the facts.
When you are listening:
You control your emotions.
You have an open, balanced, and serene posture.
You keep your face neutral and don't react to what you hear.
Your gaze shifts naturally between the person speaking and objects.
You may take notes.
Get the facts by calmly asking questions.
Don't interrupt the speaker.
Don't finish the speaker’s sentences if he/she hesitates.
When it's your turn to speak, you rephrase, using active listening techniques, to show that you've listened and understood.
Together, confirm that you are ready to move on to sequence "E".
Case 1: Fiona takes advantage of an inventory day to invite Oliver to lunch and try to find a way to meet his restocking requests. She begins by saying that she understands that not being able to restock during the month is embarrassing. Fiona tries to understand what motivates Oliver by asking, "How are the numbers this quarter?” She learns that he hasn't met his goals for the last four months because of a fall in Japanese tourism. Fiona considers what he said and replies, "I understand that business is slow, but I noticed that the team is still in good spirits." Oliver reacts with a big smile and visible pride. "Yes, that's what keeps us motivated, but the sales team deserves their bonuses. I'm disappointed that the restocking issues kept it from happening.” Fiona realizes that Oliver's needs are more related to recognition and belonging than to survival and fulfillment.
Case 2: Abigail takes advantage of a one-on-one meeting to tell Chloe, calmly and with an open demeanor, "I noticed that you don’t come to lunch with us anymore and that the two of us don’t talk as much as before."
E for express your feelings
This is where each party explains how the issues create a problem, disrupt/frustrate basic needs.
Active listening is crucial in this sequence. People need their experiences acknowledged. If necessary, let the parties know that no emotional profile or value system is more important than another. You can emphasize this point by saying, "Do you agree with this? What do you think?” Then move toward possible solutions together.
Case 1: Fiona explains that she follows the company rules and is uncomfortable being criticized for doing her job. She adds that she is not the decision-maker, but that she would like to find an arrangement.
Case 2: Chloe is surprised by Abigail's comment and doesn't say anything. Abigail explains, “I really want us to be able to work together." Chloe, reluctantly answers, “Yes, of course. Me too.” Abigail responds, “Did I say or do something to hurt you?” Chloe replies, “Look, I'm a little bothered by your vision of things.” Abigail says, “What is my vision of things?” Chloe replies, “What you were saying about family, for example.” Abigail considers what Chloe said, and it helps her to understand her co-worker's values. Abigail then asks, “Do you think that these differences mean we can’t work together?” They keep talking.
S for specify solutions
First, both parties express what they want to happen. Their desires need to be reasonable, or it could reignite the controversy. "Given all that has been said, what would be an acceptable solution for you?"
The solution will be more effective if it is close to what both parties wanted. If this isn't possible, offer a compromise that satisfies everyone. At this stage, it helps that you know everyone's needs.
Case 1: Oliver asks that the head office modify its restocking policy because it is in everyone’s interest that the sales objectives are met.
Case 2: Chloe says that she and Abigail can work together without sharing the same points of view on everything as long as they avoid certain topics in public.
Then state the possible solutions.
Be specific on what corrective measures will be implemented (what, who, when, how, how much?): "We all agree..."
If it's hard to satisfy someone's needs in the immediate future, but treatable in the long term, let them know that you will deal with it as soon as possible by making an appointment.
Case 1: Fiona explains that they can't restock more than once a month due to the cost of shipping from the UK, but that she will raise the issue with superiors. She also offers to write a procedure allowing the point-of-sale managers to request a transfer from other stores. To make up for the lost bonus, Fiona offers the team an extra discount during the next employee sale.
Case 2: Abigail accepts Chloe's request to be discreet in public on subjects that involve value systems. She adds, "I hope that you and I can still have friendly arguments in private over some topics…”
C for clarify consequences
In this last phase, it's important to remind them what you agreed upon and the positive effects of solving the problem.
Case 1: Oliver better understands HQ’s technical difficulties with restocking and is receptive to the special employee discount. Fiona will be able to count on Oliver's help with the new logistics system. The resolution is almost win-win.
Case 2: Chloe and Abigail acknowledged their differences and are instead focusing on their shared values of cooperation and tolerance. They avoided poisoning the work environment.
And, when you reach this stage, thank everyone for their constructive attitude and involvement in dealing with the issue! :lol:
Let's recap!
The conflict resolution session should follow the DESC discussion's four steps. In turn, each party:
Describes the conflict situation, sticking to the facts.
Expresses their feelings and needs.
Specifies acceptable solutions and agrees on the terms.
Clarifies the positive effects of the resolution (or negative if it doesn't succeed). If needed, meeting later for a second DESC session.
The DESC discussions works well as long as:
You intervene before Stage 3 (stagnation) of the conflict.
You carry out all four steps using active listening, empathy, assertiveness, emotional control, and positive communication.
However, problems may still come up that keep the resolution from taking hold. The next chapter will help you identify and avoid them.
