Resolve Conflicts at Work

To analyze a conflict, you must first determine:

• The type of conflict.

• The stage of development of the conflict.

The different types of conflict

You will generally be confronted with two kinds of conflicts: those related to tasks, and those regarding relationships.

Task conflicts

These are conflicts resulting from disagreement about:

• Tasks: Who should do what?

• Processes: How, and under whose supervision?

• Deadlines: When, for when?

• Financial cost.

To deal with this types of conflict, you must first identify:

• The technical aspects of the problem.

• Who is involved.

When co-workers disagree on the division of tasks or how to carry them out,  ego and power games between the different teams can fan the flames of conflict. You must also factor in:

• Group dynamics: For example, engineers versus sales teams.

• Company dynamics: Headquarters versus subsidiary/field office; support versus field mindset.

Here is an example of a task conflict we will be looking at more in depth later in the chapter:

Case 1: A luxury shoe merchant at a mall store has excellent sales for a particular model and quickly sells out. Oliver, the manager, sends an urgent email for a quick restock. Fiona, the logistics manager at headquarters, replies that it is not possible until the following month. Olivier insists and explains that sales are poor but that this restocking can help him achieve his objectives for the month. Fiona remains firm as it is the standard procedure.

Relationship conflicts

As the name implies, these conflicts are caused by friction between co-workers who are often very different in terms of:

• Personality and feelings.

• Modes of operation in the workplace.

• Identities and personal value systems.

• Basic needs within a inherently competitive structure.

All other relationship conflicts have recognizable objective and subjective causes and happen within certain environments. In most cases, issues can be resolved using certain techniques and some practice.

Here is an example of a potential conflict that we will be looking at throughout the course:

Case 2: At a start-up, Chloe, a 26-year-old designer hired 6 months prior, has lunch regularly with the marketing team. She maintains friendly, professional relations with her co-workers. During one lunch, Abigail, the team project manager in her early forties with two children, announces that her younger sister is getting married and is pregnant. She expresses relief that she, "is finally committed to building a family," and adds, laughing, that she has stopped, “wasting her life and changing boyfriends every three weeks.” Chloe, who is single and independent, is surprised and shocked by her co-worker’s attitude. While the rest of the team celebrates the upcoming event, she stays out of the conversation and appears indifferent.

A task conflict that continues for no obvious reason, even after solutions have been offered, may actually be a relationship conflict in disguise. Likewise, relationship conflict is sometimes a task conflict that has not been addressed.

The different stages in the development of a conflict

You must now determine how advanced the conflict is because the time variable is crucial!

Do not confuse problems, disagreements, and conflicts

To fully understand conflicts and how they unfold over time, it is important to distinguish between:

• A problem, which is different from a disagreement, because it can be resolved. :)

• A disagreement, which is a form of creativity! They are not negative in themselves.

• A conflict, which is a disagreement with visible tension that persists over time and worsens. There are three stages in the development of a conflict: tension, crisis, and stagnation.

Stage 1 of a conflict: tension

There is a disagreement as to how to solve an issue, and it causes tension. At this point, there is still only a risk of conflict. Moreover, not everyone involved may be aware of this tension. Other times, the disagreement has not been clearly stated, and the tension is vaguer.

Learn to spot early warning signs! Here are some examples:

• Not listening to each other. 

• Closed body language and fake smiles. Individuals abruptly withdraw from the exchange. Or, you may notice a sudden unexplained change in habit. For example, a co-worker doesn’t say hello or stops coming to lunch with the rest of the team.

Good news, the prognosis is excellent!  :) At this stage, the conflict can be resolved easily and at little cost through:

• Correct analysis of the problem.

• Appropriate communication.

• Swift solution(s).

Tension can be uncomfortable, but allows for a win-win resolution.

Let's go back to our examples, and look at the tension stage:

Case 1: Oliver, the manager of the store, feels little support from headquarters, which does not give him the means to achieve his sales objectives. For her part, Fiona, the logistics manager, is following company rules and resents being treated like the enemy. Oliver has not responded to her email asking him to send back last season’s unsold inventory.

Case 2: Chloe, the young designer, grew distant from Abigail, the marketing project manager, who took a few days to notice and does not understand the reason for this distance.                   

Stage 2 of a conflict: crisis

In Stage 2, the issue reaches a crisis point and becomes a full-fledged conflict. This is when people take a stance, have radical opinions, and lose all nuance. Walls go up, trenches are dug, and communication becomes difficult.

Here's how the crisis can manifest itself:

• Arguments become unfair generalizations, ("you sales people …”), which turn into haggling. Exchanges become manipulative ("if we do not get ... by the end of the day, we will cancel ...).

• Smiles fade.

• Tones harden. An introvert can be discreet using sarcasm or a sharp tone. An extrovert will raise his voice in anger.

The prognosis is more mitigated... :o  With neither party leaving any room for compromise, the disagreement must be mediated, and the resolution will be win-lose.

Case 1: A week has passed. Oliver lost sales because of the out-of-stock model. His sales are down. He decides to call Fiona and explain the restocking issue and its impact on his monthly sales. Fiona responds that she can’t help. Olivier exclaims: “That’s always how it is with headquarters. All you ever do is put pressure on us, and never lift a finger to help!" Fiona doesn’t answer, and then after a perfunctory goodbye, she hangs up. 

Case 2: Chloe has eaten lunch alone for the past two days. Outside the restroom, she  runs into Abigail, who greets her, "So, you’ve abandoned us, have you?” Chloe replies a little tensely that she has been eating her lunch outside recently. Abigail, feigning a joke, says, "I always knew that you were a loner!" Chloe does not appreciate this attempt at humor and walks away without answering.

Stage 3 of a conflict: stagnation

The conflict becomes bogged down, everything is uphill. When the crisis is not resolved, it stagnates and can last for several days, weeks, months, or years. Arguments become binary. The conflict between ideas has turned into a conflict between people. The goal is no longer to resolve the initial problem but to destroy the other party.

Here are some indications that the conflict is stagnating:

• When the conflict is open and can include insults and attacks ("Mark is incompetent.").

• When the conflict is hidden, a lasting malaise develops. Relationship stress is visible. Co-workers:

  • Avoid one another.

  • Don't look at each other when they meet.

  • No longer greet each other.

  • Remove themselves from mailing lists.

  • Stop forward information.

  • Are unable to work together.

• The work environment deteriorates; many rumors, constant put-downs.

• Performance drops.

• Interpersonal conflicts erupt.

The prognosis is bad... :euh:  The resolution framework at the stagnation stage is very often lose-lose.

Case 1: Oliver did not achieve his sales goal for the month. He could not reward his sales team with a well-deserved bonus. He blames Fiona, who did not want to break her “precious company rules.” He thinks she doesn't understand business and doesn’t know when to show initiative. He broadcasts his opinions to his colleagues at other outlets. Six months later, when Fiona invites all the store managers for training on the new inventory management software, she faces an uncooperative, even aggressive, crowd totally uninterested in the topic.

Case 2: Chloe began by saying she had a sports class at lunchtime, and then got into the habit of having lunch with two junior members of the team apart from the others. The misunderstanding between Abigail and herself prevents an effective work relationship. They regularly argue in meetings over details and never agree, especially on politics. Each thinks that the other is not very competent and frequently makes derogatory remarks that poison the mood. The team loses in creativity. Nobody can remember when or why Chloe and Abigail began arguing so much and not working well together. People on the team took sides.

Let's recap the unmistakable signs of conflict

With practice, you will be more perceptive to Stage 1 (tension) cues, when everything is still easy to manage. Stay vigilant for Stage 2, because some people are very good at masking the crisis. Finally, Stage 3 is a clear tipping point, and the conflict becomes more difficult to manage, but nothing is lost yet! :zorro:

Here is the basic timeline.

And here is a table with a recap of what each stage looks like.

Let's recap!

• Identify whether a real or potential conflict is task or relationship based.

• Whether you are involved or not, learn to detect conflicts as early as possible. As long as it's at the tension Stage (1) or the crisis stage (2), it is still manageable. The chance of successfully resolving the conflict decreases at the stagnation stage (3), and the human and financial cost increases!

Next, we will focus on the causes of conflict. See you in the next chapter!  :)